Monday, November 2, 2009

bear talks about tomorrow

Tomorrow is sunday, my wife and I usually go to Pondok Indah Mall to eat some food and to watch a movie. But tomorrow is different, that's not going to happen because I have a meeting with someone very important, she really wants to meet me because she is interested in my thoughts.

The woman is Queen Elizabeth II from England. She will meet me at Kemang Food Fest, she called me yesterday and she said she will close Kemang area for five hours. She wants to ask me about my visions for her kingdom.

And for my kindness to her, she will give me a bottle of Dubonet.

bear in all tenses

The conversation are beetween Hitler and Noordin Embur
Venue : in hell (of course)

Hitler : hey young man..welcome to my favourite place, every human on earth calls it hell, but for me this is heaven

Noordin Embur : why?

Hitler : because I could meet my old friends, like Lenin, Stalin, Soeharto, etc. And the important thing is I could dance in Michael Jackson concert. Oh by the way, why are you here? Did you kill any jew?

Noordin Embur : no I didn't. I just played with bombs, I liked to play with it and killed some americans with my bombs.

Hitler. : oooo I see, but why did you do that? I hated americans too, because they made me lose world war II

Noordin Embur. : I know you old man..are you Hitler? I love your worked in auschwitz, you are brilliant. May I learn to be like you?

Hitler. : that's the problem..I am getting older, I forget how to create a big war. I know this is my fault, in here I always go to party, I live in peace. But I heard from my friend you are a that right?

Noordin Embur : yes I am. That's why may name is Noordin Embur.

Hitler. : I don't want to teach you !!!..I am so sorry, maybe you can learn how to create a big war from Soeharto..I hate faggots !!!!

bear reviews tarantino

In a small village in france, Nazi troops hunted for Jewish heads, they wanted to kill every Jew. During the slaughter, a small girl named shosanna escaped from the village and after a few years she built a movie theatre with her boyfriend. They planned to have vengeance on Hitler and his men. They wanted to burn them when they saw a movie in her theatre.

On the other side, Brad Pitt as Lieutenant Aldo Raine, worked with his men to fight back the nazis. They swore to Aldo to kill as many Nazis as possible. After they got information about Hitler and his men, as soon as possible they started to make a plan to kill the Fuhrer.

On that day, the misssion was accomplished. Aldo's men succeeded to kill Hitler and burned him inside the movie theatre.

Inglourious basterds is a movie about hitler but from Tarantino's angle. In this dark drama movie he wanted to show his idea about Hitler's death.

bear plans the future

Actually I have no plan for monday, I'm just going to do my regular jobs in the office and do some casting to find a new presenter for my new tv program. And as always, I will see my stupid boss' face and his stupid job, meet my boring friends and take part in some boring conversations. But on that day I will see a movie with my sister, I love the movie because the director had the same thought as me about hitler. I will probably meet my sister around 8 PM and I hope next monday will be a good day for me.

And after watching the movie, I may go to club and meet my old friend Lenin, he will give me a lesson on how to be a DJ. He said I have a talent in music, especially house music and he said I will be a great DJ.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

a bear in conversation

A : what are you thinking right now?

B : I'm thinking about pizza, I ate that when I lived in sicily, do you like pizza?

A : I never eat pizza but my brother sometimes buys dominos pizza for lunch

B : do you know where we can get a good pizza? I want to treat you tonight

A : that's very kind of you..let me ask my brother first

a frequently present bear in the past

1. Hitler hardly ever sees his troops on the battle field
Yesterday, Hitler saw the condition of auschwitz prisoners

2. I usually run with Lenin every evening
I ran with lenin last saturday

3. My boss always eats shit
My boss ate a bowl of shit last night

4. My stupid friend usually swims with his crocodile
Yesterday,my stupid friend swam with his crocodile

5. Hitler really likes to sing bengawan solo, a song composed by Gesang
Hitler sang bengawan solo when he won the war against france

a simply present bear in the past

1. Simple present & present progressive

My name is buddha, I am 30 years old, some people believe that I am a god but as you know I am just a man who tries to live in peace. I love the entertainment world, so one day I decided to make a bar and I named it buddha bar . I have 3 good friends, their names are hitler, stalin and lenin, and they are politician. They usually call me on saturday night, they invite me join them.

We always talk about politics, money, religion, Jews, war and girls. Hitler likes to drink lychee martini, Hitler is a sly man but I know he has charisma and power to build a great country. Hitler likes to talk about war and he always tell us about his ideas to rule Europe. Unlike Hitler, Stalin and Lenin don't like to talk about war, they always talk about girls. Stalin's favorite girls are from uzbekistan and Lenin really likes thai girls. Now I am telling Stalin and Lenin to influence Hitler with girls, because I am thinking about hitler's safety.

Stalin and Lenin argues with me, they say they can't to influence Hitler because Hitler will kill us with his bare hand. They are trying to convince me about Hitler's cruelty.

At last, I use my power as buddha to hypnotize Hitler and save Europe from massive war.

2. Simple past

Last saturday, Hitler and I went to my temple at mount Emei in Chengdu. He realized his mistakes, he asked mo to help him because he was worried about his soul. I taught him some Kung Fu moves and he enjoyed the class.

In just two days, Hitler mastered some moves in Kung Fu and he learned chinese language. he sad he was so happy to learn Kung Fu because it made him live in peace.

One day he decided to meditate at mount Emei, he didn't want to go back to germany. He shaved his mustache and his hair and he decided to become a shaolin.